Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm being replaced, because both of my best friends (one I've known for 16 years and the other for 9 years) are in long-term relationships...I know it's not intentional, but I guess it is inevitable. People get older, people fall in love, get married, and pretty soon their significant other (eventually their spouse) is the most important person in their life, not their best friend. I understand. It just hurts when you yourself don't have anyone. When in the past you always had someone, or semi-had someone, and those friends didn't, and now the tables have turned. Two failed relationships on your part in a span of four years, while your two best friends are still with the same people.

I'm happy for them, of course, but more and more I'm realizing the inevitable.

It's too beautiful a day to be sad about stupid junk like this. I need to go back outside to lay on the hammock and read some more. Thank God for days off.

This girl from Virginia who I am sort of acquaintances with (she's a friend of some of my friends) has "GO SPAIN!" as her Facebook status. Lame. I'm pretty sure she's not even a soccer fan. I hate when people jump onto a bandwagon when a big sports tournament is going on, ESPECIALLY SOCCER, since so few people in this silly country even watch or appreciate soccer. And furthermore, if you're not even a soccer fan, why would you pick Spain to win the final? Because it's more familiar than Germany since you took Spanish in high school? I really wanted to be like, "Okay honey, name me one player on Spain's team and tell me which players scored their three goals against Russia today. Did you even know they were playing Russia?" But I'm not that much of a confrontational bitch.

I've been having the most intense craving EVER for a margarita, so my friend Brian and I went to Friday's tonight because I was told they have amazing margaritas. They do. They really, really do. I had a pomegranate one and Brian had cherry-raspberry (mine was better). Also split some fried mac 'n' cheese things, which are delicious. I didn't feel too guilty about those, because after that bike ride with Dana today I did a full hour of cardio at the gym with Carol and burned 750 calories. I win.

That's all...margaritas get their very own LJ entries.

Hello to more new friends! That makes me happy.

Well, since you guys took the time to add me, I'll take the time and acknowledge you here. :) Welcome, noreentry, ilyturtle, vicious_delight, and doyoudreamatall. Here's to getting to know you all...and I'll try to keep things somewhat interesting here.

Today? Is beautiful. I went with my friend/coworker Dana to help her pick out a new bike, then for a bike ride with her, and also to get my car's emissions test done. Hooray, my car has passed the emissions standards for the state of Illinois.

I like days off. Not looking forward to work tomorrow, or ever again. I'm so ready to be done with this job. I think 4 years (as of June 21st, thanks) of working for Ritz/Wolf Camera is PLENTY. I gave it a good run. So I really, REALLY hope I get this internship at the Smithsonian Natural History Museum that I'm applying for, which would start in August after I'm back in Virginia for school.

Time for some reading outside in the sun!

Maybe about a year ago I gradually stopped writing about my actual thoughts and feelings in my other LJ, so I got pretty used to not truly journaling. I'm still trying to get used to doing it again. Here's one:

Usually I'm not sad about the fact that I'm single -- I've been single for exactly a year now after being in a couple serious relationships. And then there was a big ordeal with someone I met at school last fall that really just made me lose my faith in finding a good relationship. I've given up trying for the time being, because I think if I don't try I may just stumble across something. But in the meantime, I'm usually pretty happy with the way things are. Great friends, horses, family, books, photography, work, and school...I have a lot of things to occupy my time, and during the school year I really don't even have time for relationships.

But sometimes...just sometimes, it will hit me full force when I'm not expecting it, and I'll just miss being in a relationship. Just having someone who I know I can always go to who will always put me first, you know? Both of my best friends are in long-term relationships. The tables have certainly turned, because all through high school I was usually the one dating or being interested in guys. None of it lasted though, obviously. I would much rather have had nothing during high school and be in a stable, happy relationship now. It seems like now is when it really matters -- we're getting older, people not too much older than us are getting married, for crying out loud. I just...don't want to be left behind. I know my best friends love me, and I really am happy for them, but it isn't the same anymore. There's always someone in their lives who is more of a best friend to them than I am now: their boyfriends. I miss that. I miss being loved, and in love.

And today it hit me while I was driving home from working out. A new song came on the radio by Josh Turner and Trisha Yearwood that completely hit home for me, called "Another Try." I guess I'll stop trying to explain how I feel and just post the lyrics, because really...bullseye. Mostly the chorus.

The reasons I'm alone I know by heart
But I don't wanna spend forever in the dark
I swear next time I'll hang on for dear life
If love ever gives me another try

But life is too short to be bummed about being single. I'm just allowed to be a little sad once in a while. Carry on..

Saturday I drove down to Illinois State in Normal (about 2 hours away) to visit my best friend. Like, the best friend I have known since kindergarten. Honest to God, Sam and I could literally be doing nothing and still have fun with each other. She's not a partier or drinker like most of my other friends, which is completely okay with me (and it's also completely okay that my other friends ARE, because that's fun too).

Anyway, Saturday night we made dinner. Our delicious meal consisted of: leftover couscous, leftover spinach/cheese ravioli, fresh baked biscuits (that was all me), steamed broccoli, and a really good salad. We ate this while watching "How the Earth Was Formed" on the History Channel, which I of course loved. We went to Kroger and bought some vanilla ice cream, which we blended with different fruits (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, bananas) or with Nutella. That was quite an adventure, one which left us extremely stuffed. We were discussing things to do that night, but we ended up not going out, lol. We stayed in and watched more science-y stuff on the History Channel, and went to bed around 11:30. Still fun times in my book.

We woke up around 10 yesterday (Sunday) and after breakfast made the 15-minute drive to Comlara Park in Hudson, Illinois, right on beautiful Evergreen Lake. We rented a canoe for an hour (only $6!) and that was SO FUN. I LOVE canoing. And so does Sam. We got pretty good by the end. There was this big island in the middle of the lake, and we decided to try and go all the way around it. The water on the far side of it was full of submerged trees -- obviously from all the recent flooding -- so we had a good time maneuvering around all of them. We saw a couple herons, a turtle sunning on a log, LOTS of dead fish (probably from the disruption of the ecosystem caused, again, by the flooding) and a few live ones too, thankfully. It was so much fun. We got a tan and a good little arm workout too. We also went to Flattop Grill for lunch (delicious) and I headed home around 4:30.

Aside from that, the weekend consisted of watching Cubs games (WHO SWEPT THE WHITE SOX in the Crosstown Classic, btw!!) and the remaining quarterfinals of the Euro. It'll be Germany v. Turkey and Russia v. Spain in the semifinals this week. Exciting stuff!

Today it's back to working out, work, and barn time. I feel so tired and lazy, I'd much rather sit on my rump...but alas, it is not to be.

Here are some canoing pictures:

Well, it is about that time of year when the Cubs start losing momentum. This does not bode well for the crosstown series against the White Sox this weekend -- especially since the Sox just swept the Pirates. Seriously? I have never seen a worse inning in my life. Marmol walked two batters and then HIT the next two. Thankfully Lou made a pitcher change but it was too late, the bases were already loaded and a Rays player hit a grand slam. They scored 7 runs in the 7th inning. Fantastic.

But! Germany beat Portugal today in the Euro2008 quarterfinals! The "best player in the world" right now, Christiano Ronaldo, could not lead his team to victory today. A valiant effort, but alas, it was not enough. Germany had three lovely goals by Schweinsteiger, Klose and Ballack, in that order. LOVE those guys.

I am looking forward to the summer Olympics too. I totally forgot those were happening soon until I saw a commercial for them last week. Here's hoping they air lots of the equestrian events on TV!

Since when do I devote entire posts to sports??

I really believe that this awful flooding in Iowa and western Illinois along the Mississippi is something that everyone should be concerned about. As of today, 5 million acres of farmlands have flooded. For anyone who doesn't know (crawl out from under that rock!) Illinois and Iowa are some of the largest producers of corn and soybeans IN THE WORLD. What do you suppose happens when all that farmland floods? That's right -- the cost of corn and soybeans and grain skyrockets. These two vegetables are staples in our diet and economy, because so many other products are made from them. The cost of those products will, in turn, rise as well. This isn't just affecting those poor farmers. This is affecting the entire country, whether people realize it or not. This is JUST what our economy needs now, isn't it?

The American Red Cross's funds are severely depleted, yet they are still doing all they can to help out with this crisis. Click here to donate to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund: http://www.redcross.org/article/0,1072,0_312_7859,00.html

I don't mean to sound preachy, but those people need all the help they can get. Maybe I'm biased because I myself am a Midwesterner, but it's heartbreaking to know that this is all happening so close to home. We're very fortunate here in the western suburbs of Chicago to rarely ever have to deal with this. The last major flood we had was the summer of 1987, when I was but a wee baby of 6 months old. Last August shortly after I left for Virginia, there were some pretty bad storms and flooding out this way, especially in Elgin and places a bit farther west along the Fox River, but it was all taken care of within a month or so. We're always spared from tornadoes as well. So like I said: very lucky. 
With that said, I'll step off my soapbox.

I have a blissful day off of work today, so I slept in and then spent a couple hours in the late morning/early afternoon at the stables with Romey. He's still a little shit about standing nicely at the mounting block -- he likes to swing his butt away from it and make it impossible for me to get on. Obviously that doesn't fly. It also doesn't fly to have to spend at least 10 minutes calming him down before I can finally get on his back. I can't wait to start lunging him -- and then hopefully riding him -- with a saddle. Then mounting will be a breeze, even if he dances around a little bit. It's hard with just a bareback pad.

Then I came home and washed my car, because it hadn't been washed in a long, long time. It is now a clean and shiny Santa Fe. Finally. I'm bumming around for a bit longer, watching Euro2008 soccer before it's time to go work out with Carol. What a nice day this has been.

I kept telling myself I didn't want a new journal, I'd have my other one forever and never change, but I guess I was wrong! I feel like I need a new start on LJ because my friends list on my old journal sucks. They're great people and I love them, don't get me wrong, but they just never commented, darnit! I started caring too much about that, which is stupid, so here I am. Hello, LJ World. Come find me. Come friend me!

Work was UNBELIEVABLY slow today. I worked 9:30-3, and in that time I did a grand total of three digital orders and one roll of film. And when I left at 3:00, there were five of us working. Whenever Dave isn't working, he completely overstaffs us. Ugh. It wasn't all bad though, I got paid to read for five and a half hours.

I came home, relaxed for a bit and then went for a bike ride with Dana around her neighborhood in Bartlett. We're training for L.A.T.E. Ride, which is 25 miles. It shouldn't be that difficult though, because we both work out every day and are in pretty good shape. Perfect weather for a bike today, though. What's up with this 70 degrees and no humidity? I doubt that'll last long!

Now I'm watching the Cubbies on TV and will go work out in a little bit. I'm exhausted, and oh so glad to have a day off of work tomorrow. That will be spent with the pony, working out with Carol, and then? Who knows.